Dickie (dickies) wrote in we_are_funny,
Dickie
dickies
we_are_funny

i was in phoenix working and....

funny thing happened while i was there. i was in the shop helping customers and i commented on some new mix that was done on a good song which i thought sucked now. anyways the lady to whom i commented to about the song was a mother in her late 30s and by no means looked good for her age. anyways she just looked at me and was like you probably just don't know how to move your hips. and said she wanted to see me dance to disprove her.

i was like nah its alright

then she circled behind me like a shark to its prey and grabbed me by the hips. naturally i jumped and turned to her with my hands held in front as to say woah!

she kept insisting, her daughter was embarrassed and her husband(maybe her brother) had just returned from the restroom and was now seated outside the shop watching this. she kept pouncing on me as her eyes devoured me. and insisted i dance for her if she were to buy the shirt.

I informed the lady, ma'am i do not work on commission so you will be unable to persuade me and stood my ground and she just moved forward and grabbed my hips again. my brother in law (my boss) was laughing like a hygena who's just found its way. i jumped away like an amateur matador with the words O'le rolling off my lips three seconds too late.

she again persisted i dance for her, like a used car salesman who just won't hear no.

Ole' i say and jumped behind the counter and said hey bro help me out, and then she glanced at him and before anythoughts or words were muttered, my bro-in-law says i'm married! then she looked back at my hand and again persisted!

she put the shirt down and said she was going to walk out unless i dance with a glare right at my bro-in-law. and so he said dance.

*lightbulb* i looked at her daughter, who was red in the face, and i asked, "do you really want this shirt?" she looked up and said yes with eyes filled with disbelief, (had mom really convinced this guy to dance?) and a smile filled with hope (mom is my hero).

i turned to her mom with a grin on her face and said, "how can you disappoint a daughter like that?"

she looked at her daughter and new she was bestest by a kid with no rythm in a mall store in phoenix. she made another plea but yet this time felt small, as i said, "i will not dance for you, not here, not at all"

i told her the total and she paid quickly, with her nose pointed low in a mall store in phoenix.

though it didn't end, later that day she came back and made a final plea. you will dance for me christmas eve or i definitely not buy a thing from you. i will be back to pick up three shirts and i expect a dance from you. knowing she would not leave until i agreed, i quickly said yes with a "Hah! i will not be here christmas eve" in my head!
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